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Parental Advice By Reuben Chonzie (Lilongwe University of Agriculture and Natural Resources: Malawi)


Parental Advice


Reuben Chonzie

Lilongwe University of Agriculture and Natural Resources: Malawi

Like an Angel she sang, caressing the souls of the depressed, giving hope to the hopeless. Her voice was sharp, soft and sweet like a violin King David used to play. Her heart touching voice keeps echoing in my mind, the smile was in accordance with the beauty of her face. I wish to define myself as a man, so like a lion I gather courage and approach her, it’s when I realized that she was the one and only that the master designer made for me. Can I say it was love at first sight? Nooooooooooh, I couldn’t realize the feeling because I was new in the world of love.

There she came with a big smile, I couldn’t withstand facing such a beautiful girl, I was nervous, wishing to disappear. Hi Ben? Ooooooooh! Sorry I didn’t tell you my name is Ben James. I replied Hi, how come you know my name? She said I have seen you once at the entrance of the church you were with your mother and my mother, so that is where I learned your name from my mother. From that time we became friends until that special day when I was brave enough to tell her “I love you and I wish you could be my girlfriend”. She looked into my eyes and replied “you don’t have to mention it, am already in love with you. Hahahahaha I guess that was a yes, yah it meant yes. That’s how our relationship started, it was the happiest moment of my life. We used to share gifts, talk through phone calls, and walk very long distances just to share funny stories, laugh together and forget our problems.

Our love grew deeper and deeper, we became very close and our relationship was not a secret anymore. Well in case you don’t know, something happened, during those days I started sleeping in one of our family houses alone. So she started visiting me in that house, hahahahaha guess what? We had our first sex. From that time our bond became very strong than ever and I did make a promise to love her forever till death do us apart.

Smoke does not start without fire, words that elders often use. I have a strong belief that the statement is wrong. In real life situation there are some stories and rumors that start from nowhere, with no base but we are made to believe. Upon coming back from school, news broke out, a lot of people were talking different stories against my beloved. I mean stories I wished not to hear were being told. I chose to pay a deaf ear to what people were saying. With all the kind of love she was giving me it was hard to believe what people were saying against her.

In one of my psychology class I learned that late adolescent is a stage where young people maintain a good relationship with their folks, they trust their parents most and they try their best not to disappoint them in order to gain favours from them. I was approaching 18 when I got my certificate in primary teaching, soon after, I was selected to pursue a degree program in one of public universities in our country. That’s when my parents told me to break up with my girlfriend because they believed that she was not worthy for me. My head grew bigger, I couldn’t fight against them. I knew if I cannot do what they want then they will cut financial support to my education. So I was forced to make a very painful decision in my life.

The news came to her like a nuclear bomb falling in enemy’s territory, I saw her shedding tears like water from a stream. I knew she had loved me so much and she didn’t expect me to do that to her. Now at 25 years old, I still imagine how life could have been with her in my arms. I know she could have made my life better than ever. Though I try to give a reason for my act, am still a loser and I will be.

Our traditional beliefs have been there before us, since then the world has been spinning. Each and every year new things come into existence and the old things are gone. Some things that people value before are useless today. Culture is dynamic, some cultural beliefs that matters in those days cannot apply in modern life. Methods that people were using to define a good partner in those days cannot help us to find a good partner to day. So people must accept and appreciate the fact that the world has changed a lot. In trying to respect and keep parental advice I become a loser. If days could be brought back, I wish I could go back to that time and tell her “I love you and I will be with you forever”.    



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